“I can recall being a professional foster parent and having a 15-year-old level 1 (high functioning) autistic kiddo who came into our home with 1 pair of worn-out Chuck Taylor’s. We took him shopping and purchased new clothes and shoes of his choosing, but he continued to wear his same Chuck Taylor’s to school daily. I assumed it was because he had developed an emotional attachment to them, but about 2 weeks later, he came home crying and saying the teens at his new school had been talking bad about him and bullying him because of the holes in his shoes. I reminded the him that he had several pair of brand-new shoes that we just got him to choose from. He fidgeted around for a while making excuses, then eventually after a few minutes of me probing, I discovered that he was embarrassed to tell me he didn’t know how to tie his own shoes, which is why he continued to wear his Chuck Taylor’s with the holes; (they had been tied up for years from one of his earlier placements.) Something immediately clicked! I thought…had I been more proactive and asked these questions two weeks ago, I could have prevented him from being picked on and embarrassed as a new student, preserving his reputation and breaking the stigma of him looking like a foster kid just because he was. I looked at his chronological age and assumed that he knew how to tie his shoe, but I didn’t recognize that he hadn’t been in any placement long enough as a 15-year-old to be cared for and taught by a father figure how to tie his shoes. We worked hard at learning to tie shoestrings and put on a belt! Soon, he was able to wear a different new pair of shoes to school each day. Realizing the aforementioned was monumental for me. It opened my eyes to be more cognizant of each child’s past and proactive to preserve their internal values; something much needed for their future development.”

-Mr. Darrell